March 8, 2010 – Los Angeles, CA

Whose Fault?

I got an e-mail recently from a woman whose friend has an 11-year-old daughter who weighs over 220 pounds. She asked me if there’s anything I could think of that would help. There are genetic eating disorders that cause people to eat without stopping, no matter how full they get, but the child had been checked and that wasn’t the case. The answer was pretty simple: stop feeding the child as much, and make the foods she brings into the house better choices.

I know that sounds flip, but at 11 years old, if the car goes through a fast-food drive-thru to buy burgers and fries, she certainly isn’t driving. I doubt she’s going to the grocery and buying chips and cakes and cookies and other high-fat snacks. It has to be one of the parents, and in order for the child to eat healthier and lose weight, the parents are going to have to start to do that themselves.

I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but often when people overeat, it’s to take the place of something else. Some other need isn’t being met. It could be something as simple as boredom or the habit of eating while at the computer, but it’s an issue that should be examined, especially when it’s a child.

We live in a society that doesn’t like to imply guilt for anyone. Boloney. I’m directly responsible for my body—I put the food into it to get to where I am, and I’m changing that to get to where I want to be.

In the case of the child, it’s the parents’ fault. They may have a lot to learn about how to feed their children healthily, but that’s their responsibility as parents. It won’t be easy, but I know they can do it and I’ll help them along the way and direct them to other sources of help. But at the end of the day, she’s 11—it’s on them.

What are you prepared to do today?

Dr. Chet

© Chet Zelasko PhD LLC