In Case You Ever Wondered

Many of you probably don’t remember William Proxmire, the U.S. Senator who criticized government-funded studies five decades ago. Another senator, Tom Coburn, picked up the mantle in 2010 by criticizing research on greenhouse gases from cows. (It’s bipartisan; we’ve got one Democrat and one Republican.) While the research was not about flatulence—cows don’t fart—it was about belching, which cows do, evidently a lot. The cows’ emissions were found to contribute to methane production, which can impact our atmosphere.

Not to be outdone on noxious emissions, the Australian researchers decided to ask the question: how many times per day do Australians pass gas? An Australian research group created an app where people could report their fart frequency. Seems ideal for a group of 8- to 12-year-old boys; they would make it a competition, especially when you call the app Chart Your Fart. Alas, the researchers must have realized that and set the lowest age limit at 14. The researchers promoted the app over various media to the extent that over 6,000 people qualified and participated in the study. The app is still available although the study is closed.

The average number of gaseous explosions? Five per day for both men and women (although some women may disagree with that number for their husbands). What was interesting is that flatulence followed several hours after eating. And the more fiber a person reported eating, the more gas was produced.

It makes sense. What does fiber do? Feed bacteria and other microbes that live in your gut. How do they make energy and perform their job? Fermentation, and fermentation produces gas. It’s completely normal. One more interesting result. The age group that farts the most is 26- to 45-year-old men. Knowing that, my life is now complete.

What are you prepared to do today?